TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
