Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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