I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
