It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
