One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Who died my cat blue again?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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