I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
