Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Im part way to drunk.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
