How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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