I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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