you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Randomize
