I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
