Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
