elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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