Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
