now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
