I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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