nut hugger
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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