dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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