The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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