He had one of those small greek statue penises
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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