I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
