Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
