I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
