I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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