just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
