Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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