I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
