We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
