did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
They have beer where we have blood.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
