At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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