he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
