Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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