yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
