can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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