Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
