Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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