I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
