her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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