i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
