we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
