She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Welp...herpes.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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