Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
