every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
