if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
