Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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