You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
