Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
