worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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