Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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