When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
