If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
