It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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